My disease wants me to be quiet; it wants me to not text or call anyone. My disease wants me to feel down and miserable. Yesterday I called one person and thought, that is the key word, of calling someone else and I didn’t. My disease doesn’t want me to write about my experience, strength and hope. My disease just wants me to suffer in silence. I did talk to my sponsor and did some 4th step work and emailed another. Overall I see that yesterday my disease did not win because I did things to feed my recovery. My disease didn’t win yesterday. However, I did think of calling someone and never did it. That is the key word ‘thinking.’ Thinking too much is a dangerous place to go and be. That is where my disease lives in my mind.
As I look around this morning I have so much to be thankful for. My disease hates gratitude. It wants me to be sick and tired and sick and tired. My disease doesn’t want me to look and around and be thankful; it wants me to look around and see this dark alley way, to see a dumpster and a person who lost his or her battle of addiction. I pray to never go there. Today I am grateful and that is my tool in my toolbox that I can see and be anytime of the day. My life depends on taking it one day at a time.
Today my disease is not going to win.
I will reach out and stay focused on my recovery.
This morning I am feeling thankful and grateful.
How are you feeling this morning? I hope you can find and be thankful too. It is the best way to be.
Love Rose