H.O.W. did being more open minded help me to get sober?

That is a very good question for this recovering alcoholic; especially since this is not something I do perfectly; practice,  practice and more practice. Being open minded is a perspective on life and on the actions of those you encounter every day. I had to hit my emotional bottom before I could be open and willing to accept my powerlessness over my life and my behavior.

Just like every other young person, I thought I knew everything, and I wasn’t willing to listen to others’ experiences. Ignorance was bliss until I entered the real world immediately after I graduated high school, married my high school sweetheart. I thought we were both smart and would be able to handle anything that the world had to throw at us.

By the time I was nineteen, my heart and dreams were shattered. Then the fear and anger of my reality, the mistakes I had made, began to set in. My distrust in others became much worse; I realized that I couldn’t trust others with my happiness.

That fear and anger was the lead in for the process of the closing down of my heart and mind to others’ ideas and suggestions on how I should live. My self will began to run riot over my life. I just stopped giving a shit about anything. The fight was on, me against the world and all the injustices I felt were done to me. I knew right from wrong, but didn’t care. My alcoholism took hold; and I took on the job of being judge and juror of everyone in my life. I built a wall around my heart and closed off a part of myself that never really began to open up again until I stopped drinking. Years went by and another marriage was failing because of my drinking and my negative, narrow minded thinking.

It was a couple of months after my grandfather died; I had already drank too much for the middle of the afternoon. I had called my cousin and was sobbing with the grief of our loss. My cousin innocently asked me if I had been drinking and of course, I had. Then she asked me if I thought I might have a drinking problem. It was as though no one had ever said that to me before that day. My husband had on several occasions told me that I couldn’t drink more then a couple of drinks before I became obnoxious, but I never listened nor did I care what he thought about my drinking.

That afternoon I heard something different then what my cousin said to me; it was like suddenly I actually heard that I had a problem and my way wasn’t working anymore. Drinking stopped working for me years ago, but I finally saw the possibility that there might be something different other then drinking to cope and drinking to live.

The next day I had an appointment with my counselor, and she advised on how I could get sober without going into treatment. I was finally honest with her and with myself about my drinking. I acknowledged that I did not know everything and became a little more open to suggestions as to what I could do to help myself. At that point in my life I was extremely depressed and vulnerable. I was desperate to have the pain subside, and sick and tired of being sick and tired. Being rigid and seeing only in black and white was not the way I was going to get sober. I not only had to admit I was hopeless and an alcoholic, but I also had to concede to the grayness of my life. I wasn’t a bad person; I was a very sick person who was finally, open to getting some help and trying a new way. I had to stop stifling my life with judgement and distain for myself. That day I chose to listen to the voice at the other end of the phone and let that chip on my shoulder slide down just a little.

I am so grateful to my cousin for being open and straightforward with me that day; I so needed it. I believe that it wasn’t just us on phone that day. I truly believe that my Higher Power worked through my cousin on that sunny fall afternoon, and I am so blessed for it. That was the beginning of this life I now have. I never thought that I would get sober and stay sober one day at a time.

This life I am living today is possible for you too if you choose to be open to new possibilities and listen to what others have to say. You just have to give voice to that deep gnawing pain inside your heart and soul and accept help.  Everything that I went through in my past has made me who I am today, and I ain’t so bad after all.

The longer I stay sober the more I realize I don’t really know much at all. By God’s grace I will continue to be teachable and willing to do the little things that it takes every day to remain a sober woman of dignity and honor and a loved child of God.

Ralph Waldo Emerson: Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better. What if they are a little course, and you may get your coat soiled or torn What if you do fail, and get fairly rolled in the dirt once or twice? Up again, you shall never be so afraid of a tumble.

https://www.verywellmind.com/be-more-open-minded-4690673