Just Breathe

Those are simple words. Breathing is the most natural function of our bodies. However, when you stop drinking there is nothing but raw emotions and life can be very real and unadulterated. I think I have always been a person to hold my breath. Alcohol dulled life just enough, so I didn’t need to wait to breathe. Don’t get me wrong I have always been a hyper vigilant person. Sometimes I think I just forget to breathe because I am waiting for the other shoe to drop so to speak.

Waiting and breathing are opposites that go well together. I use to wait for my big brother to get off the bus; sometimes we got sick of waiting for someone to make our dinner, and we would try to make dinner ourselves. We wait for our toast to cook; we wait for the phone to ring; we wait for the weekend to come, and now we are all waiting to see who will be our next president. I don’t know about you, but I get preoccupied with the waiting and am too stressed or over over tired, forgetting to breathe. It amazes me how I often I catch myself holding my breath.

I have been in therapy for a good majority of my adult life and at times that helps with my anxiety, but I have a quick forgetter. I think the thing that has helped me the most with my habit of holding my breath is guided meditation with deep breathing.
I have always had a lot of anxiety, when I was a little girl I would bite my nails down to the quick. It was a horrible habit and very difficult to break, but I finally did with the help of my Mom.

I have been meditating daily since last February. Wow! What a difference it has made for me, especially when I am struggling with fatigue or anxiety.

This time of Covid-19 and isolation from family and friends has definitely been stressful for most everyone I know in and out of recovery. Mediation helps me to stay in the moment and just breathe, deeply if that is what my body needs at the moment.

I have found myself getting anxious about this new blog I have started. I tend to want to be a perfectionist and get fearful that I won’t do this right or good enough. That is my dis-ease trying to get me to stop doing something that makes me happy. But today I have meditation and support from my network. I can’t stay sober by myself. I need those people in my life just like I need people like you.
I hope you have a peaceful evening and can the rest you need tonight. I am sending you light and love.