F.A.I.T.H: Freedom & Acceptance invoke Trust & Humility
F.E.A.R: False Evidence Appearing Real.
Over these last few days I was remembering when I first got sober and heard about the Fear acronym. It was so powerful to me because I have lived with fear my whole life, afraid of losing something or someone I loved; afraid to be alone; afraid of not being enough, and so forth; I had night terrors for years after being bit by my Aunt’s mother’s dog. Heck, I have also experienced fear of the dark, which for a middleman aged woman is hard to admit. A counselor I once worked with called me a “fear biter.” He was a dog trainer, and he told me that fear biter dogs bite when they become afraid. When I am afraid I tend to freeze and want to hide or disappear.
Since being sober I have often times thought about replacing my fear with a faith of my own understanding. The old timers told me early on that I needed to believe in something other then myself; they didn’t care if it was a light bulb or a coffee cup. It didn’t mater what just as long as I started trusting someone other then myself.
Trusting has never been easy for me.
But when those old timers told me about trusting something other then myself, it was a relief. They said that by believing and having faith that I wouldn’t be alone anymore. I had felt so alone for a very long time even though I had people in my life that loved me. Feeling a lone amongst people that love you is a horrible feeling. I was always trying to fill that empty hole of loneliness with something.
Having faith in a being other then myself is a much better way to live. I don’t know if you still struggle the faith and fear conundrum, but if so it is okay. If I am graced with another day I get to try it all over again, living with my faith and leaving my fear at the dawn of a new day.
I hope you have found some peace and a faith in something other then yourself. We are all works in progress. Everyday I have a choice to walk my journey in faith or in fear. I hope and pray that you are walking with your faith today.